One More Weekend With You

Parenthood Season 4, Episode 8 – “One More Weekend With You” [Original air date: Nov. 20, 2012]

No one said life was going to be easy. Actually, if no one has told you before, let me be the first to tell you: life is a challenge, it is frustrating, and it is going to require a great deal of give and take. Just as Parenthood shows us, we often look to blame others for our downfalls. It frequently takes learning to accept people for who they are, and situations for how they are presented to us. The two golden words to keep in your back pocket and never be ashamed use: “I’m sorry.”

Too often people keep emotions bottled up inside. Eventually those emotions are going to surface and want to come out, but we cannot always control when this happens. We are only human, after all; we are far from perfect. Though we may think we can control everything, we cannot. Like mother, like daughter – Julia had a breakdown a few episodes ago, and it was time for Sydney to do the same. While Julia and Joel have been trying to support and encourage Victor ever since adopting him into the family, Sydney has felt rather neglected. Some reasons why prove to be out of Julia’s and Joel’s hands, but other time Sydney may have had a point, just going to show the hardships a family can face when expanding the family and adding new family members: “You are not my brother!” Sydney yelled at Victor as she threw a cup of water in his face at the diner. “In case you forgot, I was here first,” she said to her parents as she went to run away from home. We can almost all remember a time when we were younger and made a plan to run away from home for one reason or another.

There really is no good time for death to grace us with its presence. But when death does knock on our front door and we are forced to deal with it, how we deal with it can teach us a lot about our own character. When Ryan has to go to take a road trip to Bakersfield for his friend’s funeral it is obvious he is shaken up about the whole situation. Still, Amber continues to say all the right things at exactly the right time, as she asks if Ryan would like company: “I’d be nice to be together; if you wanted that I’m here.” We soon learn that Ryan’s friend Evan Williams, Private First Class soldier, someone Ryan considered a brother, did not die at war, but committed suicide after making it back to the states alive. Another one of Ryan’s service buddies called Evan’s actions the “coward’s way out,” causing Ryan and him to get into a physical fight. Viewer’s got a look at the side effects of PTSD and how real it actually is. It may be hard, but we need to remember that physical violence is never the answer. The beach scene at sunset between Ryan and Amber was a little cliché, but it gave a good message: life is worth living, so surround yourself with those you love and create your own happiness.

People have sex; it is simply a fact of life. It is usually during our teenage years when we first experiment with sex. This is usually a personal choice and everyone has different views when it comes it such topics. Abstinence can make us naive, so it is probably best to get educated before making any major life decisions. Though Mark was fairly awkward when he caught Drew and Amy in the act, he dealt with the situation like a professional: are you being smart? Are you wearing condoms? Is she on the pill? Do you know about STD’s? Let’s talk about responsibility. Though teenagers experimenting with sex can be scary, it is important to keep open communication about such life choices both with your partner, as well as with those who always have your back (i.e. parents). Sarah feels shut out of her son’s life, and that is a natural feeling, especially given the circumstances. Yet the conversation Mark and Sarah have about opportunity to get closer to Drew, trying to figure out their place in this family, and having a lack of experience, are healthy conversations for anyone to have, ones which should be seem more as a work in progress rather than a find the answers and move on kind of situation.

It has been said, if there were no rainy days we would fail to appreciate the sunny days. In similar thinking, we are able to enjoy happiness because we have been able to get through frustration and hardship. Fighting in a relationship is practically inevitable, and believe it or not it is rather healthy to work through problems and disagreements together. For example, Jasmine calls Crosby a freeloader while Crosby calls Jasmine a dictator as they fight over the cocktail and hor d'oeuvres party they were throwing. In the end though, through a little give and take, the two were able to make it through and understand each other’s differences. Being a support system for one another is important, and Adam and Kristina are the epitome of such a team. Adam is willing to try everything he can to help his wife through the hard times chemotherapy is giving their family. While their house becomes somewhat of a zoo, much like Grand Central Station during rush hour, Adam does his best to keep things under control. Kristina learns that you cannot always expect yourself to be the exception to the rule: “Thought I’d be the one person who wouldn’t get sick from chemo.” This mentality can be quite dangerous, especially when it comes to activates such as trying hard drugs, having unprotected sex, or being a reckless driver. Life is too precious to take such chances.

There’s Something I Need to Tell You…

Parenthood Season 4, Episode 5 – “There’s Something I Need to Tell You…” [Original air date: Oct. 9, 2012]

Somewhere someone is doing something right when it comes to the show Parenthood. I squealed with excitement, muttered the word “What?” under my breath with shock, smiled with happiness, and cried my eyes out with uncontrollable emotion, all during this single 44-minute episode. Not sure if I should thank Patrick Norris who directed this particular episode, Jason Katims who wrote it, or the cast who brought the story alive; perhaps it was a collective effort. Regardless, this episode of Parenthood is bold, and appears to be both a turning point for the show’s storyline, as well as a major steppingstone for character development among many of the Braverman family members.

Finding a work life-family life balance is nearly impossible, and viewers get a glimpse here at how work can interfere with some of our other priorities. Work can be overwhelming to the point where you literally feel as if you’re being pushed over the edge, causing yourself to reach your breaking point. This seems to be the case with Julia and her job at the law firm. No one is superhuman, though many of us may try to be. Julia’s quest for perfection, along with her “I can do it all” mentality, becomes too much; a feeling many can probably relate to. She misses Sydeny’s recital, leaves Victor’s baseball game early, and hasn’t been able to fully tell Joel what’s been bothering her. Julia’s struggle is a great example of how work can cause us to worry: If I mess up I can lose my job, I need to please “the man,” I have deadlines which must be met, my mistakes could cause this company to fail, I could be the reason this company gets sued, I can’t focus on family because I need to do these assignments for work, etc. Julia’s struggle is also an example of how you have the power to change your own life: if you’re unhappy you can – and should – do something about it.

Work provides us with financial stability. However, when our family life changes our work paychecks don’t always change in the same fashion. Keeping a family together and raising children costs a whole lot of “cheddar,” and making that cheddar or asking for more can be difficult. Crosby understands, like many working individuals, that no one wants to have to live paycheck-to-paycheck. Work can also change our romantic relationships, as seen in Sarah’s ordeal with co-worker/boss Hank. When other options knock at your door, particularly options which may intrigue you, you might second guess personal decisions. Vulnerability is seen throughout this episode, and though many people may fear being vulnerable, it is sometimes when we learn the most about ourselves and those around us.

It has been said that “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” but sometimes distance is too much to handle. Haddie, much like Julia, cannot focus on her work because of what is happening at home. In Haddie’s case, it is learning her mother has cancer and feeling helpless because she I so far away from home. Ryan just came back from Afghanistan – he was removed from reality, physically and mentally, and is now struggling to readjust after being distant for some time: “I’m sick of people looking at me like I’m a veteran, like there’s something wrong with me, like its broken or something. I don’t want to be a veteran, I’m just Ryan.” No one is alone in this world, no matter how alone we may feel at times. Parenthood reminds us about caring and love, and how important it is to show you care about and love those who matter most in your life. Whether it is because these people are part of your family or because you want to be there to help these individuals through tough times, everyone deserves to have some kind of support system. Zeek takes Ryan under his wing, and the Braverman family comes together for Victor during his baseball game. The theme of caring through love comes full-circle when Kristina shares about her cancer diagnosis. It is so easy to let other things like work get in the way of being there for your family. Perhaps we just need to practice being present and remind ourselves to say “I love you” a little more often. We are only human, but we cannot lose track of what we value most.